every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
