Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
