I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
