I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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