He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
