I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
