I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
