Your tits are I can't wait for
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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