i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
