I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
