Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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