Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
