i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
