For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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