in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
