every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
