Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
