Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
