I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
