I faked an abortion last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
