i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
