Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
