The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
