just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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