his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
