this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
