Where is the hickey?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
