part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
