I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
