I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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