Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
