Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
me + whiskey = a bad person
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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