420 ftw
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
