So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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