what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
