I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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