i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
