paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
