I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
