There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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