Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
