I bet he comes in French.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
