Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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