what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
