Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
