Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
