i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
