This dress was meant to end up on your floor
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
