Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
