After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He better not be in your backpack
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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