dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
