She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
