best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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