If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
