Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
